I love these quotes because they remind me that I do ALWAYS have choices. And so do other people. They’re not always the choices we want but we do have control if we want to seek and find it.
These quotes, for me, are about mindset, particularly around change and challenge. And specifically around things that are happening to and around us rather than things we actively chose.
The problem is, if we truely believe we have no control in our lives and what happens to us, it’s really hard to see that there are in fact other options and a different way of looking at things. We will remain stuck in our past rather than become creative in our destiny.
When I meet people in my work, one of the biggest indicators of their mindset is how they talk about their lives and their desired outcomes, whatever they may be, however big or small, regardless of whether it’s earth shattering changes or small developments.
Sentences that start with ‘I’ tend to indicate a growth mindset, and an acceptance that they are in control of what happens and how. Whereas sentences that start about other people or situations tend to be blaming, contain limiting beliefs and indicate a fixed mindset.
Change and growth require self reflection, acknowledgement that we have choice and control, and an acceptance of our responsibilities to ourselves to be and do what we want to be and do.
Life doesn’t have a smooth blueprint about how it should go; we need to own our destiny. We can have plans and a rough idea sometimes, and we can have goals and aims, that is healthy. But many people get stuck when/if those things don’t happen.
Changing the direction of our sails not a toxically positive act of, ‘oh well tomorrow’s another day, plenty of fish in the sea’ but rather it is a positive act of, ‘I’ve got this, I’m on my journey, and I’m prepared for whatever happens’. The difference is seemingly nuance and semantics but in reality, the difference between the two is actually huge!
The first means we don’t ever really do anything to change the direction we’re going in if it’s not working. We just move through, come what may, never really processing, never really taking control. And often, this brings disappointment and unfillment and a feeling of Ground Hog Day when we wake up and do it all again with the same outcome. It’s exhausting.
However, the latter is a focus on the destination and a preparedness to sit with and process the challenge, and then utilise our skills in changing our situation. Sometimes we’ll need to adjust our compass too, and sometimes we’ll need to take on a deck hand and navigator to help and support us. But, we’re in control and we have freedom to go where we need to go.
Learning to change the direction of your sails is an imperative skill in life; it helps us achieve another goal, and/or helps us circumnavigate challenges to continue to go where were heading. It keeps us from wallowing in any disappointment we might feel if things don’t go to plan. And it keeps us on track to continue to be motivated and focused.
Are you happy in the direction you are going? If not, are you willing to pull on the jib rope and adjust your sails, hand firmly on the tiller, taking control? If so, do it, you won’t be disappointed you did. And your future self will thank you for doing so!
And, if you do need a deck hand and navigator, I am here to be them for you. Contact me on 07523 830377 or razzabeecoaching@gmail.com and check out the rest of this website at www.razzabeecoaching.com
Razza Bee Life Coaching 